An Interview With Tea
Oct. 18th, 2020 09:17 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
caulkheador, The world's least likely crossover (cont)
"Hey, Cheery! Let the boss know Igor says the bloke in number two's woken up!"
Changsu opened his eyes cautiously. He appeared to be in a cell, but as far as he could tell, it was neither the palace jail nor the Xuanjing bureau. The floor was dry, and the straw was clean, and the voice addressing him was brusque but not unkind.
"Better sit up slowly, you looked in a bad way when they brought you in. Here, have some of this, it’ll help with the shock."
He held the huge mug in both hands, letting the grateful warmth soak into his palms. He looked at the clay-red liquid dubiously, then raised it to his lips, trying not to breathe in. He drank Yan's medicine every day, he could drink this. He gulped it down, eyes closed.
"Nice cup of tea with milk and three sugars, does the trick every time," said Igor happily.
This was tea? "Extraordinary," he said politely.
“Drink up. Himself wants to see you.”
…
The man behind the desk had ‘Commander’ written on him as clearly as if it had been stamped on his forehead, even without the armour piled on the chair behind him (what kind of soldier had metal armour, and then let it get in that state? And yet, his weapons seemed well kept...) and the drifts of paperwork in front of him. There was a cup of the unspeakable tea in front of him, and he appeared to be drinking it. Someone put another cup in front of Changsu, so he did the same, carefully hiding his expression behind his sleeve.
“May I know why I am being held?” he asked eventually.
“Held? Oh, dear me no, you’re not being held, Mr, ah…”
“Su.”
“Su.” (and if that’s your real name I’ll eat my helmet, the commander’s expression said). “Let me put this plainly. You arrived, with a flash and a bang, I’m told, right in the middle of the road in front of my Watch station, and smack bang in front of a delivery of what I am assured is” - he checked a sheet of paper from the stack before him - “top quality Rimward porcelain. Scared the oxen and stampeded them right into Lady Selachii’s new carriage, and *that* took out a couple of thieves going about their lawful business, and they kicked over Dibbler’s sausage stand, and it all went downhill from there. My people are still sorting it out. And you flat in the middle of the whole thing, out cold and soaked to the skin in the middle of the driest summer we’ve had in years. My corporal brought you in for your own protection.”
“In that case, sir, allow me to thank you humbly for your hospitality and take my leave,” Changsu said smoothly, gathering his robes about him and making to rise, although he wasn’t completely sure his legs would support him yet.
“Not so fast. A flash and a bang, they said. And Igor said you were ‘interesting’, though he went all mysterious when I asked him why. And I don’t like mysteries, Mr. Su. So suppose you tell me the last thing you remember before you turned up here?”
He’d been making his way home from the palace, and there had been rain threatening, as there often was at this time of year. They’d been looking from somewhere to take shelter, and then…
“A storm?” he said vaguely. The man opposite him groaned and buried his head in his hands.
“Oh gods, don’t tell me. A lightning bolt? I don’t suppose you were chasing anybody down at the time, were you? Old wrongs to right? Corrupt institutions to reform? Younger self to shake some sense into, any of that?”
Changsu produced his blandest and most non-committal smile, but his eyes had widened a fraction, and he knew the other man had noticed.
“If you’re thinking of trying to start a rebellion, don’t. Better men than you have tried. This city might not look like much to you, and gods, it sometimes doesn’t look like much to me, but it’s not mine, or yours, or any man’s, and I will do what I have to to keep it that way. Do I make myself clear?”
He turned away without waiting for Changsu’s answer - which, both of them were aware, would have been calm and polite and entirely meaningless - to yell “Enter” at the knock on the door. The young woman who came in response was martial and efficient (and wearing yet another set of metal armour), but something about her set all the fur that Changsu definitely did not have standing on end.
“Message from the Palace, sir. Patrician wants to see the new arrival straight away. They’re sending a carriage.”
“Of course he does. Does he want to see me too?”
“He didn’t say, sir.”
“Must be my lucky day.”
*on second thoughts, that might be NiF/Cabin Pressure. I've got one of those, too.
(no subject)
Date: 2020-10-19 05:31 am (UTC)I really like the way Vimes is so busy seeing himself in Mei Changsu that he fails to address what is really going on (whatever that may be...), it's very in-character. And I love the line about "all the fur Changsu definitely did not have".
Where is the NiF/Cabin Pressure crossover, please?
(no subject)
Date: 2020-10-19 09:05 am (UTC)The chief had asked to be informed as soon as the couriers arrived, but he wasn’t in his hall, not yet his study or his chamber. Zhen Ping tracked him down in the end to a terrace overlooking the carp pond. He started forward, but the chief held up a hand - wait - and turned back to the garden.
Outside, Fei Liu was standing by the fishpond with the courier’s lad - well, young man, really, Ping supposed, but there was something curiously young about his stance. Without taking his eyes from the lad’s face, Fei Liu plunged his arm into the pond up to the shoulder. He came up with a fish wriggling frantically in his grip, then thrust it at the newcomer at arms length. “Hmph!”
To Ping’s surprise, the stranger was not even remotely taken aback.
“Wow, that’s brilliant! I bet you can’t do it again, though.”
“Ah.”
The fish went flying back into the pond - where it disappeared rapidly into a clump of lilies - and, just as quickly, Fei Liu was waving two fish in the lad’s face, one in each hand.
“That really, really looks like fun. Can I have a go?”
A nod. The interval which followed was splashy, and rather noisy, and must have scared every fish in the pond into hiding for several hours. Fei Liu watched critically, arms folded. Ping glanced at the chief to see if he should intervene, but Changsu was leaning calmly on the balustrade, his mouth bracketed with the smile he sometimes wore watching Fei Liu play, and almost never otherwise. A particularly enthusiastic lunge ended up with the stranger wobbling perilously on the brink, only to be hauled in by the scruff of his neck and dumped unceremoniously on his back before he could fall. Changsu leaned forward
“Fei Liu! Stop teasing those fish and take our guest to Aunty Ji for some food.”
Fei Liu looked up indignantly.
“Yes, you were. Go on, both of you.”
“Him. Fun.”
The chief watched them go, still smiling, then turned back to Zhen Ping, the strategist’s bland mask already settled into place.
“Very well, then. The couriers.”
...
More cogent comments on political systems to come when I'm not supposed to be working!
(no subject)
Date: 2020-10-19 10:05 am (UTC)I take it one of the couriers is Douglas? I hope Li Gang counted the jade teacups afterwards.
(no subject)
Date: 2020-10-19 04:34 pm (UTC)What frustrates me about Discworld is that the Patrician isn't reforming things *either* (with the arguable exception of the Watch, which happened at least as much despite as because of him, at least in the earlier books). He rules by fiat and division, and things work because of who he is - in other words, he's the Emperor, but he's a)moral in his own twisted way and b)*good* at it. He hasn't got the structures in place to work without him, and if he's not there, the whole thing falls apart. At least MCS is trying to get the right men [sic] in position.
"he fails to address what is really going on (whatever that may be)"
I don't know either! I could easily handwave it as delirium but that's a) cheating and b) doesn't explain Lin Chen.
(no subject)
Date: 2020-10-19 04:39 pm (UTC)it made me imagine how traumatised Arthur would be if a team of assassins suddenly broke in and he got to see the other side of Fei Liu
They wouldn't, after multiple failed attempts, attempt Su Manor. But the caravan, after it left the gates of the city, now...
(no subject)
Date: 2020-10-19 05:38 pm (UTC)They wouldn't, after multiple failed attempts, attempt Su Manor.
Now I'm imagining the ninja therapy circle of everyone who has tried and failed to assassinate Mei Changsu or someone Mei Changsu wanted protecting.
(no subject)
Date: 2020-10-19 05:41 pm (UTC)Sudden thought brought to you by getting a Nigerian Prince email in my inbox in (as far as I can tell) Gaeilge; has the LangYa list generated its own equivalent of that scam where people tell you you've been elected to the x list of prestigious members of your field and to confirm your place in the publication, just send your preferred listing and 500 dollars to...
(no subject)
Date: 2020-10-19 05:54 pm (UTC)I really, really want the encounter with Vetinari. Of course, Vetinari is used to battles of wits with people who used to be bloodsuckers, though Lady Margolotta didn't have the fur problem.
(no subject)
Date: 2020-10-19 05:59 pm (UTC)Ed. Or possibly some of the equivalent of said scam are actually communications from Lin Chen as a final test. If you're stupid/vain enough to fall for them, then you don't deserve a place on the list of scholars/gentlemen etc.
(no subject)
Date: 2020-10-19 06:00 pm (UTC)I think I tried that with a Mycroft vs Sir Humphrey short once, and it ended up being so opaque that by the time I reread it a week later I didn't have a clue what was going on either.
(no subject)
Date: 2020-10-19 06:03 pm (UTC)so opaque that by the time I reread it a week later I didn't have a clue what was going on either.
:D
Bad plot bunny! Bad!
Date: 2020-10-19 06:09 pm (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 2020-10-19 08:00 pm (UTC)What frustrates me about Discworld is that the Patrician isn't reforming things
Maybe not so much now in his declining years, but he's made a lot of improvements since the days of Lord Snapcase! And the Guilds seem to more or less run themselves, even if they do need someone to keep an eye on them, and massive technological and social changes are incorporated successfully. Whereas Da Liang seems entirely frozen by its insanely hierarchical structure (an impression that is admittedly strengthened by the fact that other historical cdramas set in a later period show a society that only seem to have changed insofar as the ministers start wearing those hats with the huge social-distancing bows that stop them from whispering to each other during meetings and the civil service exam introduces an element of meritocracy into the bureaucracy.)
Delirium is definitely cheating! Lin Chen must have made some sort of deal/had an unfortunate encounter with some magic-using DW entity that resulted in an unexpected portal, through which MCS had the bad luck to fall.
(no subject)
Date: 2020-10-19 08:04 pm (UTC)Re: Bad plot bunny! Bad!
Date: 2020-10-19 08:05 pm (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 2020-10-19 08:29 pm (UTC)ETA And if anyone is going to play dice with fate, it's Lin Chen.
(no subject)
Date: 2020-10-19 08:41 pm (UTC)Oh WAIT. If your closest cognate to the Watch is the Xuanjing Bureau, where does that leave you?
help, how did my fluffy silly fic start getting complicated?
Re: Bad plot bunny! Bad!
Date: 2020-10-19 10:09 pm (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 2020-10-20 11:33 am (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 2020-10-20 12:23 pm (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 2020-10-20 12:24 pm (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 2020-10-20 12:27 pm (UTC)With a healthy distrust of Director Vimes, I hope! That would make for very exciting reading.
I'm willing to bet MCS also has vastly different cultural expectations for the Guild of Seamstresses.
Fluffy fic is great, but complicated fic is even better!
(no subject)
Date: 2020-10-20 12:28 pm (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 2020-10-20 12:47 pm (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 2020-10-20 12:51 pm (UTC)*but not hazelnut ones.
(no subject)
Date: 2020-10-20 01:42 pm (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 2020-10-20 01:54 pm (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 2020-10-20 03:18 pm (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 2020-10-20 03:40 pm (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 2020-10-20 03:44 pm (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 2020-10-20 03:50 pm (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 2020-10-20 04:01 pm (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 2020-10-20 04:16 pm (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 2020-10-21 05:38 am (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 2020-10-21 08:03 am (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 2020-10-21 10:11 am (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 2020-10-21 04:26 pm (UTC)"Would you care to explain why you chose to spend two and a half weeks and four times the operation budget on surveillance of the eighty three year old half-blind retired magistrate Zi Hao, before recommending that the mission be aborted?"
"He has an eleven year old great-niece, sir."
"And?"
"And according to the Lessons Learned in the Su Mansion case, files 4659-82 inclusive, you can't be too careful."
(no subject)
Date: 2020-10-22 06:48 am (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 2020-10-22 02:21 pm (UTC)standing uplying down in?):"...the Guilds generally offer some accommodation for affiliated members from out of town, that sort of thing. And while I have not been an active member for some years, I do retain visitation rights at my own alma mater. Their rooms are very rarely taken up, for some reason.”
Changsu bowed. "I am sure I shall feel entirely at home."
(no subject)
Date: 2020-10-22 03:02 pm (UTC)I'm guessing the Assassins are going to be ignorant enough to take on Fei Liu - in which case the real question is, who's paying them to off MCS and why? That portal can't have been as spontaneous as it looked.
(no subject)
Date: 2020-10-22 03:26 pm (UTC)Life in the Guild: "It was rather like being surrounded by several hundred iterations of Lin Chen, each trying to out-swagger the others."
(no subject)
Date: 2020-10-22 04:45 pm (UTC)